Christlife Posture: Trusting God's Wisdom

Topic: How Should I Think About Divorce?

 

Suggested Approach: Choose 1 thing from each of the three boxes

OR Choose 1 from Media or Reflection + 1 from Scripture 

Media Excursions Watch/read/listen and be ready to discuss Q's

Still Image/Photograph

  •  Marriage (womenonthefence.com) Why do you think this illustration uses the image of an eggshell? What seems appropriate or inappropriate about that to you?

Video Clip

  • Let No One Separate (Freedom Church) How did you feel watching this video?  What do you think it's trying to communicate to married couples?  Were there any parallels to the journey you are on in your relationship?

  • Marriage Promise (One Time Blind) Do you find that your arguments escalate like this? What generally starts an argument between you and your spouse?  Do you agree with their premise as to what marriage the purpose of marriage really is? What scripture do you know that agrees or disagrees with that premise?  What keeps you from reaching out after a heated argument?

Song

  • While I'm Waiting (John Waller in "The Love Dare"/Fireproof) Listen to the words of this song.  Are any of the lyrics inspiring to you? Irritating to you?  What do you think the songwriter is "waiting" for? 

Article 

  • The Christian Divorce Rate Myth (Glen Stanton) Have you heard this myth before? How do you respond to knowing the factors that affect this statistic?

  • Should I Divorce if I'm Miserable? (Russel Moore) What do you think of this author's strong stand? Do you believe God wants you to be deliriously happy (but possibly not in the short run)? What is your understanding of a "covenant"?

  • How Should a Christian View Marriage and Divorce? (Amy Desai) Were you aware of the biblical grounds for divorce? Why do you think there is so much controversy over this issue? What was helpful for you to read?  You may want to check out some of the other articles in this series to discuss. 

  • Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage (Michael Misja and Chuck Misja) Which questions did this article bring up that have you wondered about?  What did you think of the comparison to cancer? Which of the three options for dealing with a struggling marriage have you been living? Which of the four core convictions about marriage do you want to develop or explore? 

Online Resources

  • Fireproofmymarriage.com Resources and links related to the movie "Fireproof" about a struggling marriage.

  • The Love Dare The 40-day progressive challenge of small steps to be practiced in a struggling marriage. 

  • WalkingtheChristianLife.org Links to pages and blogs about topics related to "Coping with Divorce" and "Life after Divorce". 

Reflection Options  

Journal  (reflect on one or more of these questions)

  • Take time to journal your answers to three or more of the questions in this article: 6 questions to ask before getting a divorce (Dave Willis).  What do your answers reveal to you?

  • If your spouse is the one seeking a divorce, take some time to mourn the impact of his or her decision through journaling.  Explore emotions of sadness, relief, anger or frustration.  What will you miss most about your spouse? What will you miss most about being married? What fears do you have about being single again? 

  • Write or rewrite a Psalm (for example, try Psalm 6, 118 or 130) expressing your anguish over this area of your life. Lift up your emotions to the Lord and know that he sees and hears you. 

Quote Interaction (Interact by agreeing, disagreeing or otherwise engaging with the quote/quotes)

  • Faith will get in the ditch with you, faith will go in the prison with you, faith will go into divorce court with you, faith will go in the hospital with you, faith will go in the nursing home with you. (T.D. Jakes)

  • Our Lord was compassionate to that erring Samaritan woman, who did not remain with one husband, but committed sexual immorality by contracting many marriages. (Ireneaus, A.D. 183-186)

  • God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption. (Henry Cloud)

  • A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make. (Gary L. Thomas)

Reading & Reflection from the book, Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults

  • Read "Discern the level of contentment in present life situations "​ (p. 155). Do you see yourself as a victim in your current circumstance?  What can you embrace about your situation? What should you not embrace (because it is a result of sin or brokenness) but can choose to mourn? 

  • Read "Negotiating Transitions: Is the grass greener?" (p. 191-193).  Would you say that you experience a lot of transitions in your life? Does change feel more normal to you than stability? How do you think this affects the way you approach your marriage? 

Explore Scripture

Meditate on one or more of the following passages. Always look them up in context.  Take some time to really explore the verse in relation to this topic.  Listen to any wisdom these verses might have for you in regard to your friendships.  Make a note of what you discover to share later.  See "Learn More About Ways to Study Scripture" below for help in getting the most out of the verse.

  • Genesis 1:27-28

  • Malachi 2:13-16

  • Matthew 19:3-12

  • Mark 10:9

  • John 10:10

  • Ephesians 4:25-32

  • Ephesians 5:22-31