Reflection Options  

Journal  (reflect on one or more of these questions)

• Grieving and Celebrating.  Take some time to write about what you wish for in regard to relationships. What emotions do you experience about being single? Now take some time to write out what you enjoy about being single and celebrate with the Lord for the blessings he has given you in this season of life. 

• Find two people you know who are single and seem to be doing well.  Also, find two people who married after the age of 30.  Ask each person (from both groups): 1)What do see as the benefits of singleness? 2) What are/were the hardest things for you in your season of singleness? 3) How is/did God meet you in the midst of being single?  Journal about what you found encouraging from those conversations. 

Quote Interaction (Interact by agreeing, disagreeing or otherwise engaging with the quote/quotes)

• If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is singleness. It is God's gift. Singleness should not be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right. God, in his love, grants either as a gift.  (Elisabeth Elliot)

• Your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for you life than it does with finding the love of your life....When we see marriage as our sole purpose, we find ourselves with nowhere to go when we finally arrive. (Debra Fileta)

• All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle, yet one candle can illuminate all the darkness.  (Jewish Hanukah Prayer)

• My whole being cries out continually for something I may not have. My whole life must be lived in the context of this never-ceasing tension. My professional life, my social life, my personal life, my Christian life – all are subject to its constant and powerful pull. As a Christian I have no choice but to obey God, cost what it may. I must trust him to make it possible for me to honor him in my singleness. (Margaret Clarkson)

• I would just encourage Christian single people to ask, 'For this chapter in my life, while I am single, what is it about my singleness that could make me especially fruitful for Christ?' And then I would encourage them to give themselves to that.  (John Piper)

• Single people cannot live their lives well as singles without a balanced, informed view of marriage. If they do not have that, they will either over-desire or under-desire marriage, and either of those ways of thinking will distort their lives.  (Tim Keller)

• Pain is a holy angel who shows us treasures that would otherwise remain forever hidden; through him men and women have become greater than through all the joys of the world. It must be so and I tell myself this in my present situation over and over again. The pain of suffering and of longing, which can often be felt even physically, must be there, and we cannot and need not talk it away. But it needs to be overcome every time, and thus there is an even holier angel than the one of pain; that is, the one of joy in God. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

• Sex is powerfully pleasurable, but it cannot satisfy your heart. The touch of another person will stimulate your body and your heart, but it will never leave you fulfilled. It's a created thing that will give you a short-term buzz of euphoria. It will offer you temporary pleasure, provide a momentary sense of well-being, briefly make you feel that you're something, and it may even make your problems seem not so bad for a bit...The problem is that the created thing that you're looking to wasn't designed to satisfy your heart. It cannot give you inner peace. It cannot quiet your cravings. In a word, it cannot be your savior. And if you look outside of the Savior for something to be your savior, that thing will end up not being your savior but your master. (Paul David Tripp)

Reading & Reflection from the book, Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults: 

• Read the section, "Instability" (pp. 31-33).  How have these three kinds of instability ​impacted you as a single person?  Do you ever wonder if there is a "time limit" on your physical attractiveness to the opposite gender?

• Read "Is This A Universal Landscape?" (pp. 36-39).  Which of the common challenges do you feel pressured by in making decisions about pursuing marriage: making the right choices, constructing an ideal life, exploring options or creating a stable life structure? What assumption do you have about those challenges in regard to being single or married?

• MENTOR: Read "Explore vocational and relational identity questions" (p. 122). Explore the statement in this section, "The ability to love and be loved is achievable no matter what one's marital status."  How would you validate that statement from your own experience? Ask the young adult if they believe that statement is true or not. What are their reasons for thinking that way? How does their relationship with God or with their church community factor into their answer?