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Christlife Posture: Submitting to God's Love and Leading

Topic: Discerning the Choice to Consider Having Children

 

Suggested Approach: Choose 1 thing from each of the three boxes

OR Choose 1 from Media or Reflection + 1 from Scripture 

Media Excursions    (Watch/read/listen and be ready to discuss Q's)

Still Image/Illustration

  • Home from Camp (Norman Rockwell) There is a joyful aspect to this illustration's depiction of family life.  What is your mental or emotional picture of what it will be like to have children? Are there aspects of having children you have idealized?  What is your understanding of God's view of family? 

  • The Silence that Lives in Houses (Henri Matisse) What was your experience with silence in your home? Was silence a rich experience or one that held tension? What fear or expectation does this create for you in thinking of creating a home with children? What kind of "silence" might have been in Jesus' boyhood home?

Video Clip

  • Panel Discussion: Why Aren't Millennials Having More Children? Are They Selfish? (The Point with Ana Kasparian) How does selflessness or selfishness factor into your decision about whether or not to have children? How does your career factor into your decision about having children?  Where do you and your spouse agree or disagree about responsibilities for child rearing? Which panelist did you relate to the most?  Disagree with the most?

  • Motherhood and Fatherhood (Skit Guys) Which of these depictions of motherhood and fatherhood inspire or frighten you? What do you hope it will be like to raise a child?

  • Parenting Advice - 10 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Having a Baby (Extra Space Storage) What advice had not occurred to you before as being important? Which piece of advice stands out to you? 

Article ​

  • The Childfree Life: A Christian and Personal Response (Stan Guthrie) This author argues that "having it all, is not all it's cracked up to be." What is your reaction to his response to "The Childfree Life"? Is it convincing, discouraging or hopeful for you? 

  • How Many Children Should We Have? (Tim Challies) Which of the six principles listed were most helpful to you? What would you consider your "calling" as a couple? How does this impact your choices about having children? 

  • Dear Mentor: Can a Christian couple choose not to have children? (Susan Bruch and Ruth Jeffries)  What surprised you about either of these stories? Which insights are helpful to you, whether you decide to have children or not?

  • Dear Mentor: Deciding to have children (Leslie Walker and Jennifer Jao) What was helpful to you in reading these stories? What are the positives about having children?  

  • Preparing to Start a Family (Focus on the Family Series, multiple authors) Choose two or three articles from this series.  What questions does it answer for you? What questions does it bring up?  

Reflection Options  

Journal (Reflect on one or more of these questions)

  • What are the blessings of having a child? What are the burdens?  It might be a good idea to make a list of each side and then compare your answers with your spouse.  How are your answers similar or dissimilar? What issues do you need to talk over as a result of this exercise? 

  • Ask three different sets of parents what issues they considered when deciding if they should have children? Once they decided, what did they do to prepare emotionally and spiritually for their first child?

  • Reflect on what it means to you to be a child of God.  How do those reflections shape how you approach a decision to have a child?

Quote Interaction (Interact by agreeing, disagreeing or otherwise engaging with the quote/quotes)

  • When you have kids you grow up. I have just started realizing it now. It changes the world, having children. (David Beckham) 

  • Children are the hands by which we take hold of Heaven. (Henry Ward Beecher)

  • Children learn more from what you are, than what you teach. (​W. E. B. Du Bois)

  • It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men. (​Frederick Douglas)

  • There really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child. (​Anne Lamott)

  • Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else disappears. (​Kate Winslet)

Reading and Reflection from the book, Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults: 

  • Read "Is This A Universal Landscape?" (pp. 36-39).  Which of the common challenges do you feel pressured by in making decisions about having children: making the right choices, constructing an ideal life, exploring options or creating a stable life structure? What assumption do you have about those challenges?

  • Read "Who am I? Relationships" (pp. 111-112). What kinds of pressure do you get from family members or others about having children?  What reasons, apart from pleasing others, do you have for considering of having children?

  • Read "Dating, Marriage and Parenthood" (pp. 148-150).  What might be the potential shift in your friendships after you have a child? How prepared do you feel for a reorganization of your relationships?  

  • MENTOR: Read "Discern the level of contentment in present life situations" (p. 155).  Discern your own level of contentment (and be ready to share about it).  Prepare three or four questions to help the young adult you are mentoring determine their own level of contentment.  How does having a child intersect with their level of contentment?

Explore Scripture

Meditate on one or more of the following passages. Always look them up in context.  Take some time to really explore the verse in relation to this topic.  What can these verses help you understand about bringing children into this world?  Make a note of what you discover to share later.  See "Learn More About Ways to Study Scripture" below for help in getting the most out of the verse.

  • Genesis 1:28

  • Genesis 9:7

  • Psalm 127:3-5

  • Psalm 128:3-4

  • Proverbs 17:6

  • Isaiah 54:1-17 

  • Matthew 18:3

  • Mark 10:14 

  • Luke 18:15-17

  • James 1:17

  • James 1:27

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