Christlife Posture: Loving Like Jesus

Topic: Learning to Ask For Help

Suggested Approach: Choose 1 thing from each of the three boxes

OR Choose 1 from Media or Reflection + 1 from Scripture 

Media Excursions   (Watch/read/listen and be ready to discuss Q's)          


  • Importunate Neighbour  (William Holman Hunt) How would you describe the body language of the neighbor in this painting?  What do you think he is feeling about having to ask for help?  Now look at The Friend at Night (John Mallais) This shows the person who responds to the neighbor.  What does his body language tell you?  Which character in these paintings do you relate to most?

Short Film 

  • B.E.N -Bionically Engineered Nursing (David Wilson)  The person in this film escapes the uncomfortable prospect of having to ask for help from another.  How does this arrangement either benefit or rob her or others? What stands out to you the most from this film?

Video Skit

  • Tell Her (Skit Guys) There are times when asking others for help can go wrong.   How do you distinguish between when you should and when you shouldn’t ask someone for help?  Discuss this distinction with another and ask their perspective.


  • Brother (Need to Breathe) Does this song bring up anything that makes it hard for you to ask others for help? How easy would it be for you to believe someone if they made you these offers of help?


  • Why Christians Need Each Other (Orwell Bible Church) Pay special attention to the section: Believers Assemble to Help and Be Helped by Each Other.  According to this article, why shouldn’t we be “Lone Ranger” Christians? Are there specific things you find it difficult to ask for others support in?

Online Teaching

  • The Power of Vulnerability (Brene Brown) What part does fear or shame play in the discomfort you have in asking for help from others? About 10 minutes in, she discusses what vulnerability is. What keeps you from allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others (she gives several options). How does your ability to be vulnerable affect your willingness to ask for help? Do you think her conclusion that we need to “believe we are enough” is biblical (don’t just respond to the statement, but look for how she is using those words) or unbiblical? Why?

Reflection Options  

Journal  (Reflection on one or more of these questions) 

  • When was the last time you asked for help? What was the result both internally (in you) and externally? Write about one minor “ask” and one more significant “ask”.

  • Define “interdependence”.  Evaluate your own experience and ability to be interdependent with family or friends.

  • What is the relationship between humility and vulnerability? Was Jesus humble or vulnerable or both?​

Quote Interaction  (Agree, disagree or otherwise engage with the quote/quotes)

  • A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, “Are you using all your strength?” “Yes, I am,” the little boy said impatiently. “No, you are not,” the father answered. “I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.”  (Anonymous)

  • From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us--it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.   (Amanda Palmer, author of The Art of Asking)

  • We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance.(Benito Mussolini​)

Reading & Reflection from the book, Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults:

  • See the paragraph (p. 39) that starts, “Additionally, young men…”  If you are a male, did you grow up with these myths of manhood? How were they either modeled or counteracted?  How does this affect a biblical understanding of interdependence for you?

  • Read the hiking stories (pp. 75-77).  How did a willingness to accept help from Rebekah impact the experience of the second hike?  Where do you need to be willing to accept help currently?

  • See the statistics from Karen Fingerman (p. 111) about the help received from parents.  Do you think receiving help from parents (or the lack of it) has helped you be more open or less open to asking for help from people? How would you discern the line between needing to ask for help and learning to take responsibility for yourself?

  • Read the “Be a truth teller...” point (p. 137) and/or example of Holly and Bianca (pp. 160-161).  Have you ever asked for one kind of help but received another?  Was that ultimately a good thing or a negative thing? How does it affect your willingness to ask for help?

Explore Scripture

Meditate on one or more of the following passages. Always look them up in context.  Take some time to really explore the verse in relation to this topic.  What is a biblical perspective on giving or receiving help? If we refuse to let others help us, what biblical values are we dismissing?  Make a note of what you discover to share later.  See "Learn More About Ways to Study Scripture" below for help in getting the most out of the verse.

  • Prov 29:9-10

  • Matthew 7:7

  • Luke 11:9-13

  • John 4:7,

  • Acts 3:32-35, 9:36, 39

  • Romans 12:4,5

  • Ephesians 4:25, 32

  • Phil 4:10-20

  • I Peter 4:8-11

  • James 5:13-16