Christlife Posture: Loving Like Jesus

Topic: Challenging Others in a Loving Way

Suggested Approach: Choose 1 thing from each of the three boxes

OR Choose 1 from Media or Reflection + 1 from Scripture 

Media Excursions (Watch/read/listen and be ready to discuss Q's)


  • Truth Illustration What does this image seem to be saying about truth? How do you see this image applying to an effort to challenge others with truth in a loving way?

Video Clip

  • The Skinny on Truth and Grace (The Skit Guys) Too much of one and we seem harsh and unloving. Too much of the other and people think we're wishy-washy...What insights did you gain about how to strike a balance between Truth and Grace from this video?


  • Teaching the Truth in Love (Acappella) As you listen to the lyrics, how does the example of Jesus inspire, encourage, or persuade you regarding speaking the truth to others?


  • Speaking the Truth in Love: Caring Enough to Confront (Mary J. Yerks) Have you had friends who were willing to initiate hard conversations like this?  How did you react to the conversation both initially (often negatively, while we get used to the hard truth) and eventually? Have you ever initiated a conversation like this? What do you wish you might have said differently?

  • Speaking the Truth in Love: 7 Helpful Tips (Robert Driskell) Which of these tips did you need to hear the most? How can you help the person you are confronting to know they are not in a hopeless situation (as the article encourages)? What seems key in being able to speak honestly but with care from this article?

  • Blog: What it means to speak the truth in love (Rhonda Webb) Have you ever had a conversation where you spoke the truth but it was either ill timed or not delivered with love like the example in this blog?  How did you go back and repair that situation? If you didn’t, how could you now?  

Video Teaching

  • Paul Tripp--Speaking the Truth in Love (Desiring God) Is it harder for you to say something hard or say something sweet with the right motives?  Which one of the negative motivations he lists (around minute 3) do you struggle with most in speaking the truth in love?

Reflection Options  

Journal  (Reflect on one or more of these questions)

  • Do you fall more on the “speaking truth” side or the “with love” side? What do you think has contributed to that being your default?  What is a goal you have to move toward the other side?

  • If you had to come up with a “theology of disagreement” what do you think it would say? What theological concepts or scripture would it include?  How would it make space for others to speak the truth in love?

  • Journal about a time when you spoke the truth in love (or someone spoke it to you) that had a positive effect (at least eventually).  What made it effective?  How did you (or the person speaking truth to you) communicate love?

  • What do you know of how Jesus spoke truth to others? Sometimes his words to the religious leaders seem harsh. Can you think of how it still might have been an example of communicating truth with love?

Quote Interaction   (Agree, disagree or otherwise engage with the quote/quotes)

  • Admonition is God's antibiotic for the church; done Biblically, it is the most loving thing you can do . . . for all concerned. (Chip Ingram)

  • Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either. (Albert Einstein)

  • A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.  (William Blake)

  • Where is there dignity unless there is Honesty?  (Cicero)

  • The time is always right to do what is right.  (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

  • The Five Levels of Truth-Telling: First, you tell the truth to yourself about yourself. Then you tell the truth to yourself about another. At the third level, you tell the truth about yourself to another. Then you tell your truth about another to that other. And finally, you tell the truth to everyone about everything.  (Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God -Book 2)

  • The Truth is more important than the facts.  (Frank Lloyd Wright)

Reading and reflection on Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults

  • Read the section on “Bold Truth” (pp. 238-239). What stands out to you from this section that helps you think about how to speak truth to others?

  • Read “Understanding Intentionality” (pp. 90-93).  What do you understand from this section about what it means to speak truth meaningfully?  Do you think there is such a thing as “positive spiritual tension”? What stands out to you in these pages about speaking truth with love?

  • MENTOR: Read “Listening to God for Others” (pp. 86-88). Perhaps the scariest part about listening to God for another is: a. We might hear Him incorrectly, b. He might ask us to speak a hard truth to the other person.  How could you deal with your fears regarding each of those possibilities?

  • MENTOR: Read “A Mission Critical Urgency” (pp. 15-16). Taking together the 3 scriptural passages quoted and the stage of life for young adults, why does speaking the truth in love seem like a “mission critical” skill as a mentor?  Be ready to initiate a conversation with the young adult about what truth telling might look like in your relationship with them.

Explore Scripture

Meditate on one or more of the following passages. Always look them up in context.  Take some time to really explore the verse in relation to this topic.  What insights can you gain about how to challenge others lovingly? Why is it important to do so?  Make a note of what you discover to share later.  See "Learn More About Ways to Study Scripture" below for help in getting the most out of the verse.

  • Psalm 19:12

  • Proverbs 27:5,6, 9

  • Zechariah 8:16, 17

  • Matthew 7:3-5

  • Matthew 18:15

  • Luke 8:16-17

  • Ephesians 4:14-16, 25-32

  • Colossians 3:16

  • James 3:13-18