Reflection Options  

Journal  (Reflect on one or more of these questions)

• Think of a time you were hurting.  What was it about? What were you feeling? How connected or disconnected did you feel to God during that time?  How would you have wished to have someone to come alongside you at that time (or how did someone)?

• On the continuum of 1 (I can easily separate myself from the pain of others) to 10 (I easily get engulfed and paralyzed by the pain of others), where are you? How does this help or hinder you from caring for someone who is hurting?

• What kind of support system do you have when things are tough? How can you lean on those people when you are overwhelmed in caring for someone else in pain? How can you help others develop a support system?

Quote Interaction (Interact by agreeing, disagreeing or otherwise engaging with the quote/quotes)

• When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.  (Henri Nouwen)

• Even the saddest things can become, once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom and strength. (Frederick Buechner)

• Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. (Mother Teresa)

• For me, laughter is how we take a much needed break from the heartache, such that when we turn to face it again, it has by some miracle grown smaller in size and intensity, yet not disappeared altogether.  (Liz Curis Higgs in Only Angels Can Wing it)

• It is when believers are out of answers, confidence, and strength, with nowhere else to turn but to God that they are in a position to be most effective. No one in the kingdom of God is too weak to experience God’s power, but many are too confident in their own strength. Physical suffering, mental anguish, disappointment, unfulfillment, and failure squeeze the impurities out of believers’ lives, making them pure channels through which God’s power can flow. (John MacArthur)

• We do good deeds, but God works in us in the doing of them. (Augustine)

 ​Reading and reflection on Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults

• Read “Connect them to other growing adults” (pp. 137-138).  Developing a support system is important for times of pain.  Does the person you are helping have others in their life for support? Make sure that you don’t try to be the lone helper. How can you help them develop or strengthen their support system?

• Read “Trusting Beyond God-Given Limitations” (pp. 228-229). The desire to help others can be sabotaged by a misunderstanding of what we can and cannot give.  Do you ever feel like Sylvie or Raymond in your caregiving? Which of the five unrealistic expectations do you fall prey to? How can you deal with that expectation (what is the truth)?