Christlife Posture: Loving Like Jesus

Topic: Persevering in Difficult Situations/Conflict


Suggested Approach: Choose 1 thing from each of the three boxes

OR Choose 1 from Media or Reflection + 1 from Scripture 

Media Excursions        (Watch/read/listen and be ready to discuss Q's)

Images with Music

  • Beatitudes_QT (CCCA) Which images stand out to you the most in the context of being a peacemaker in your relationships?


  • I Shall Not Want (Audrey Assad) (click "Show More" for lyrics) Which line of this song stands out to you the most? How does it relate to your situation?  What would it mean to "taste of God's goodness" in your situation? How do you think that might free you up to be more loving? 

Video Clips

  • Honest Conversations (Upworthy) Can you pick out any attitudes or behaviors that allow these two men to have a civil conversation about something they disagree on?

  • The Lion and the Cougar (The High Calling) What kinds of "vultures" might take advantage of your conflict if you allow it to go on without resolution? Where have you been able to find a place of unexpected common ground in a conflict in the past?

Video Testimony

  • Michele Aguilar (I am Second) When things are hard, we often find ways to cope outside of God. What kinds of coping behaviors did Michelle turn to? How did the conflict with her mother ultimately begin to heal?


  • Conflict Resolution  (Love is Respect) Which healthy confict resolution actions are you already pretty good at? Which do you need to work on?

  • Communicate Better  (Love is Respect) Read through these suggestions for better communication.  What stands out to you?

  • Tips and Tools for Conflict Resolution (Mary J. Yerkes) Think of a conflict you had in the past. How would using these steps have helped? If you have a current conflict, brainstorm how you can utilize these steps as you take initiative to resolve it.

  • A Field Guide to Conflict Resolution (Watermark Community Church) Which of the three main pages was most helpful to you? How did it help? Choose something from each of the three main pages to share. 

Reflection Options  

Journal  (Reflect on one or more of the questions) 

  • What is the hardest part for you when facing conflict with a friend?  With a family member or spouse? With God?

  • Do you tend toward fight or flight when things get tough? If flight, what has helped you stay to work things through in the past? If fight, what has helped you learn to “fight fair” and approach the conflict with grace?

  • If you have faced a conflict that you didn’t resolve in a healthy way, what consequences did you experience from giving up or giving in (instead of giving toward the person)?

Quote Interaction  (Agree, disagree or otherwise engage with the quote/quotes)

  • If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.   (Wendell Berry)

  • The more incompetent one feels, the more eager he is to fight.  (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

  • God is all wise. In perfect wisdom He determined and executes His will. Someone has said: "If I had the power of God, there are many things that I would change; but if I had the wisdom of God, I would not change a thing." (John Sale)

Reading & Reflection from the book, Shaping The Journey of Emerging Adults:

  • Read the indented section quoted from Ken Sande in "The Christlife in Identity and Purpose" (pp. 116-117).  Which perspective on conflict comes closest to your own?  Where do you think you adopted that perspective from?  What do you think a better perspective might be?

  • Read “Bold Truth: Speaking the Truth in Love” (pp. 238-239).  What is the connection between bold truth and conflict?  Is it okay for truth telling to lead to conflict?

  • Read "Reflect on the benefits of relational consistency" (p. 162). Make a list of ways your relationships have been strengthened as you have made it to the other side of conflict with them. 

Explore Scripture

Meditate on one or more of the following passages. Always look them up in context.  Take some time to really explore the verse in relation to this topic.  What wisdom can be found in these scriptures to help you persevere in the midst of conflict?  Make a note of what you discover to share later.  See "Learn More About Ways to Study Scripture" below for help in getting the most out of the verse.

  • Proverbs 13:10, 15:1

  • Matthew 18:15-17

  • John 10:10

  • James 1:2-4, 3:13-16, 4:1-3

  • Acts 15 (Paul and Barnabas)